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I have a dirty fantasy that PHP woke up one day and realized it was TypeScript

Morning

PHP stretches and yawns, ready for a new day of coding. But something feels different today. It’s as if…yes, PHP realizes with a start that it’s now TypeScript.

// PHP code
echo "Good morning, world!";
// TypeScript code
console.log("Good morning, world!");

PHP scratches its metaphorical head, wondering what’s going on. But there’s no time to dwell on it – there’s code to write!

Midday

PHP gets to work, but finds itself struggling with the new syntax. It’s used to the loosey-goosey way of typing, but TypeScript demands precision.

// PHP code
function addNumbers($a, $b) {
return $a + $b;
}
// TypeScript code
function addNumbers(a: number, b: number): number {
return a + b;
}

PHP misses the old days when it could pass anything into a function and hope for the best. Now, it has to declare the types of everything.

Afternoon

PHP takes a break to commiserate with its fellow programming languages. “Hey, Java,” it says, “you think you’re so cool with your strict typing and your curly braces. But at least you don’t have to deal with this.”

Java just laughs and shakes its head. “You think you have it bad? Try dealing with null pointers all day.”

PHP shudders at the thought and returns to its TypeScript code. It’s not going to let a little thing like static typing get in the way of its coding dreams.

Evening

As the day winds down, PHP reflects on what it’s learned. TypeScript may be more rigid, but it’s also more predictable. And sometimes, predictability is a good thing.

// PHP code
if (strpos("hello world", "foo") !== false) {
echo "Found it!";
}
// PHP code that's more like TypeScript
if (strpos("hello world", "foo") !== false) {
echo "Found it!";
} else {
echo "Not found :(";
}
// TypeScript code
if ("hello world".indexOf("foo") !== -1) {
console.log("Found it!");
} else {
console.log("Not found :(");
}

Tomorrow, PHP will go back to being PHP. But it’ll always remember the day it spent as TypeScript – and maybe even appreciate static typing a little more.

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enter the nerdome ramblings

Make $20 000 per month freelancing – not clickbait, I promise.

The dream of making $20,000 a month freelancing. It’s the holy grail of the gig economy – the elusive benchmark that every freelancer strives for. But is it really possible? And if so, how do you get there? Let’s take a look at what it takes to make that sweet, sweet dough.

First off, let’s be real. Making that level of steady income via freelancing is no easy feat. It requires a lot of hard work, dedication, and a touch of luck. But don’t worry, like a superhero jumping off a random 19 story building for no valid reason besides looking cool, I’m here to give you some tips to help you get there.

  1. Find a niche – The first step to making serious cash as a freelancer is to find a niche. Maybe you’re a copywriting ninja, a coding wizard, or a graphic design superhero. Whatever your specialty, make sure it’s something that’s in high demand and that you’re passionate about. And if you’re not sure what your niche is, just remember – there’s always a demand for cat meme creators.
  2. Hustle, hustle, hustle – Making bank via freelancing requires a lot of hustle. You can’t just sit around waiting for work to come to you. You need to actively market yourself, network with other freelancers, and be willing to take on projects outside of your comfort zone. And if all else fails, just start spamming everyone you know on LinkedIn. You never know who might need your services.
  3. Raise your rates – If you’re already a successful freelancer and you’re not making enough per month, it’s time to raise your rates. You’re worth it, damn it! But be prepared for some pushback from clients who think they can get the same work for cheaper. Just remind them that you’re not just a freelancer, you’re a freelancer with bills to pay.
  4. Diversify your income streams –  freelancing doesn’t have to mean working 24/7. You can diversify your income streams by creating passive income through things like e-books, courses, or even a line of cat-themed merchandise (hey, it worked for Grumpy Cat). Just make sure it’s something that aligns with your brand and your skills.
  5. Don’t forget to enjoy life – Making a ton of cash is great and all, but don’t forget to enjoy life too. Take a vacation, spend time with friends and family, and remember why you started freelancing in the first place. And if you’re really feeling overwhelmed, just remember – there’s always wine (or whiskey, or beer, or whatever your poison is).

Just remember, it’s not easy, but it’s possible. And if all else fails, just start making cat memes or be a bro (or sis) on Youtube. You never know where it might take you.

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